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Get Your House in Order
The papers, passwords and plans a family needs before a parent's home changes hands.
Who This Guide Is For
If you are reading this, something big is happening in your family. A parent may have passed, or a spouse. Mom or Dad may not be able to stay in the house alone anymore. Whatever brought you here, we are sorry.
Before you decide anything about the house, this guide helps you get the papers, the people and the plan in order. Almost everyone in this spot carries one of four fears:
- "What if I make the wrong choice, and I can't undo it?"
- "My kids are pushing me."
- "Everything is hitting at once."
- "I'm leaving the family home behind."
You do not have to decide anything today. Start with the fear that is loudest for you. The guide comes from Maggie B. Hopkins, a Certified Probate & Trust Specialist at Surroundings.
Talk With Maggie About the House
Fear One: Making the Wrong Choice
Selling a home is one of the few big decisions you cannot take back, so do not rush it. Put the three choices side by side, in writing, before anyone signs anything.
For keep it, rent it and sell it, write down:
- The monthly cost: loan, taxes, insurance and upkeep
- Repairs it needs first
- Money it brings in or frees up
- Who has to agree, and how long it takes
- Taxes to ask the CPA about
- Who takes care of it, and how each choice feels
Before anyone signs: ask your attorney who has the legal right to decide, ask your CPA about taxes for each choice, and get a real home valuation, not a guess. Then sleep on it. A good decision still looks good next week.
Fear Two: Pressure From the Family
The kids mean well, and they are grieving too. Most fights are not about the house or the china. They are about being heard. A plan everyone can see keeps the peace.
Hold one family meeting. Invite everyone who has a say, with video for family out of town. Ask one calm person to run it. Start with what Mom or Dad wanted, if you know it. Talk about the house first, then the belongings, not both at once. Write down what you agree on and send it to everyone.
A fair way to divide belongings. The will or trust comes first, so ask your attorney. For everything else, many people pick in rounds:
- Photograph every room.
- Each person lists their top five, privately.
- Draw names for the picking order.
- Pick one item per round, and reverse the order each round.
- Write down every pick, and have everyone sign.
- The rest goes to an estate sale, donation or haul-away.
Fear Three: Everything at Once
The house, the belongings, the money and the market can all land at the same time. Make one decision a week, and write it down.
- Week 1: Find the will or trust. Call the attorney.
- Week 2: Lock up the house. Keep insurance and utilities on.
- Week 3: Get a real valuation of the house.
- Week 4: Decide: keep, rent or sell.
- Week 5: Family picks belongings.
- Week 6: Estate sale, donations and shipping keepsakes.
- Week 7: Repairs and clean-up.
- Week 8: The next step for the house, as decided.
Every family moves at its own speed, and probate and trust timelines can run longer. Your attorney sets the legal timeline.
The first 48 hours after a loss. Call family, then your advisors. Call the funeral home, which usually reports the death to Social Security. Lock up the house and take care of any pets. Order 10 to 12 certified copies of the death certificate. Do not sell, give away or move anything yet.
Fear Four: Leaving Home Behind
Decades of holidays live in that house, and letting it go is a loss of its own. The goal is not to keep everything. It is to keep what matters.
Make a short list of keepsakes: the item, the story behind it, and who it goes to. Then choose a way to say goodbye. Some ideas include one last family dinner in the house, a video of every room with the stories told out loud, a photo of the height marks on the door frame, a cutting from the garden, a framed photo of the front of the house, or a letter to whoever lives there next.
Who to Call, and Where Things Are
Your advisor team. Write down the name, firm and phone for your estate planning attorney, CPA or tax preparer, financial planner and insurance agent, plus the family members to call first. For the house itself, that includes us: keep, rent or sell, reverse mortgage payoffs, loans for an heir who wants to buy out siblings, clear-outs and estate sales.
Where the papers are kept. Note the location of the will, trust, power of attorney, health care directive, deed, life insurance policies, military discharge papers (DD-214), tax returns, and the safe deposit box and key. List the bank or company for checking, savings, retirement, investments, Social Security or VA benefits, and any loans.
The house. Note how it is owned (one name, a trust or joint), the mortgage or reverse mortgage company, homeowners insurance, how property tax is paid, the HOA contact, the alarm company, who has spare keys, and which utilities and bills to stop or move.
Write down where each thing is kept, never the account numbers. Write down where passwords are kept, never the passwords themselves.
Download the Full Guide
The full Get Your House in Order guide includes fill-in pages for the keep, rent or sell grid, the family agreement, the 8-week plan, the keepsake list and the organizer.
When You're Ready, Let's Talk About the House
It starts with one walk-through and one written plan, from the attic to escrow, with your attorney given the same timeline. We handle the clear-out, the estate sale and donations, the repairs, staging and pricing backed by recent sales. Legal and tax questions go to your attorney and CPA. If you need a loan, such as a reverse mortgage payoff or a buyout loan for an heir, Maggie is a mortgage broker and can quote it so you can compare. You are free to use any lender.
Tell us about the house or call or text Maggie at (916) 549-3131. There is no cost to talk and no pressure to decide. If the home is in probate or a trust, read about probate and trust sales.
Maggie B. Hopkins, CA DRE #01750680, NMLS #349517. This guide is an organizer, not legal, tax or financial advice. It never asks for account numbers, Social Security numbers or passwords.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to decide what to do with the house right away?
No. Lock it up, keep the insurance and utilities on, and take the decision one week at a time. Your attorney sets the legal timeline.
Can a house be sold while it's in probate?
Yes. A home can be sold during probate in California, with or without court confirmation depending on the authority the court grants. Your estate attorney handles the court side, and the sale runs alongside it.
How should siblings divide a parent's belongings?
The will or trust comes first. For everything else, photograph each room, have each person list their top five privately, then pick one item per round in a drawn order that reverses each round, and write down every pick.
How many death certificates should we order?
Ordering 10 to 12 certified copies is common, because banks, insurers, the county and the title company may each ask for one.
Can one heir keep the house and buy out the others?
Often, yes, with a loan sized to the buyout. Maggie can quote that loan so you can compare it. Your attorney confirms who has authority to agree to the terms.
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